Too Tired to Keep Going: Our Turning Point With Sleep 🥱

When our second daughter was born, life felt full in every way 💕 With two under two, we were already stretched thin. Because we were so worried about disturbing our older child’s sleep, we held back from teaching our baby how to sleep independently.

Night after night, we told ourselves we would wait a little longer. I also remember reading articles about bonding that left me scared 😬 I worried that helping her learn to sleep would somehow hurt our connection. I wanted her to always feel secure and close to me, so I breastfed her to sleep 🤱 The problem was that she needed me every time to drift off, which meant she could not connect her sleep cycles on her own. And in my exhaustion, I just gave in and kept feeding her to sleep because it seemed easier in the moment.

We even tried starting sleep training a few times, but because we were so tired and desperate for immediate results, we were not consistent. Without consistency, it only got harder as time went on and as she grew older. Looking back, I can see how much this added to our frustration. The irony was that during the day she was pure sunshine... smiling at everyone, charming strangers, melting our hearts 😇 But at night it was like she flipped a switch and turned into a completely different baby 🫣 Almost like she had a secret mission to keep us awake 24/7!

But as the weeks turned into months, the exhaustion grew 😓 And I realized something important. It was not gentle sleep learning that threatened our bond. It was my own exhaustion. It was my short temper and the way the lack of rest drained the joy from our days.

The truth is, my mood was affecting our bond far more than teaching her independent sleep ever could. I could not be the calm, present mother I wanted to be when I was running on empty.

When we finally made the decision to help her learn to sleep, it was not easy. It was much harder than with my first, who we helped around four to five months. There were tears, and there were doubts. What really pushed us to make the change was a trip to the grandparents. Being away from home gave us the space and courage to start, and it changed everything. Slowly she began to settle 😴 The nights became calmer and I felt more like myself again, able to enjoy her, enjoy my older child, and feel connected as a family 🏡

I share this story because I know how easy it is to feel torn, to second guess, to delay making changes because you want to do everything right 💌 But I also know the relief of realizing that rest is not the enemy of bonding. In fact, rest makes space for it ✨

This is one of the reasons I became so passionate about supporting families through sleep challenges. If you are in the middle of this struggle, know that you are not alone. With the right support, calmer nights are possible — and I would love to walk that journey with you 🤗